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How Mediation Works

In mediation, you will both sit down with a mediator, who is there to help you to reach an agreement. The discussions are confidential.

The issues you might want to agree on will differ from couple to couple, but might include:

    • How will you parent your children
    • Financial support
    • Where you will both live and what happens to any property you have
    • What happens to any pensions you both may have

The mediator will not take sides. They are there to facilitate you reaching an agreement. 

What will the Mediator do?

    • See both clients/parties together and look at issues to be discussed and agreed
    • Create a climate in which neither party dominates but in which both parties participate fully in good faith
    • Create and maintain an atmosphere of co-operation and responsibility
    • Help both clients/parties deal with difficult emotional issues that can prevent them from reaching agreement
    • Help both clients/parties reach agreement that they both find acceptable

How long does it take?

Mediation usually takes between three and six sessions. Each session lasts approximately one hour.

What outcome can I expect?

Most mediations end with a written document that sets out all the details of the couple's/parties' agreement.

This can then be taken to solicitors to be drawn into a deed of separation or other legal contract and/or used as the basis for a Court order. If you want to divorce, you will have to go to Court, but it will be easier if you already have the details worked out. You might be able to apply for civil legal aid and advice.

We strongly recommend reading our family mediation booklet which sets out the different aspects to be considered when going through a separation or divorce. 

How do I make an appointment?

To make an appointment, both parties must contact the service independently and confirm that they are willing to attend.

How are children involved in Mediation?

Family mediation is a child-focused service putting strong emphasis on the well-being of the child/children in separation and divorce.

The mediator ensures that the "voice of the child" is brought into the mediation process. This can be done either directly or indirectly.